Tired of Singing Lullabies to Cover the Sounds of Fights

Well, we are moving on...literally.
Never again will I mistake the newness/niceness of a home as an indicator of the living situation itself. When moving back to Cheyenne, we got a super nice 3 bedroom 2 level townhome...and we were the first in it! It's part of the new housing development on the SE side of town.
I'm not a judgemental person, if anything, I feel sorry for the people around us who live their day to day lives the way they do without searching for what life really can offer them BUT the quality of the choices people around us make is TERRIBLE.
Maybe I have small-town girl blinders on, but seriously, I can't believe the way people live and/or the situations they enable their children to be in! It saddens and disgusts me.
The people that live behind me are in CONSTANT fights... having their front door kicked in by mobs of angry ppl... having their teenage son get jumped directly in front of their own home and not being able to do anything about it... etc.
What surprises me is this:
We live next door to two open fields and a school. Why can't the fights ensue there? A field or parking lot seems like a much better place than a well-lit parking lot with families ALL around. It's like they have NO CLUE...
AND
Where in this mentality does it fit to (I hate this cliche, but) "put yourself in someone else's shoes"??? Does it never cross their minds that they wouldn't want THEIR mother watching them get the shit beat out of them on her doorstep? Or their kids? Or younger siblings?
I feel SO sorry for the littlest one of the bunch. He can't be more than ten yrs. old and yet he is constantly faced with beatings, fights and threats. How can a child who grows up in constant terror ever know any different?
I feel so helpless watching it all... clearly as a responsible mother I can't involve myself even when I want to run out and save the "jump-ee", or usher the little guy in my house so he doesn't have to see it all, but if no one does, who WILL
I have been told all of my life that I am one of the most empathetic people that others have run into. That being said, I really do find it hard to find fault in almost anyone. I give people so much credit and leniency for decisions they make, but this one I can't figure out.
Come on people PROTECT YOUR CREATIONS! I can't imagine that even if I never knew any different, that when I had a child of my own, my main instinct wouldn't be to protect them from everything possible...especially those things that had hurt me the most.

So, apparently I needed to vent, but POINT BEING THIS:

I will no longer have to loudly sing lullabies to Kahyim to drown out the sounds of the decisions of those around us. My newest mission is to find a HOME...one where we feel safe and comfortable...one where I PROTECT MY BEAUTIFUL CREATION from those who refuse to do the same.

Movies and Memories

So I just watched this movie and it is definitely a new fav. I seriously was either laughing (mostly) or crying through the WHOLE thing.
It amazes me how movies can stir emotions and memories. Maybe it's a human-connection issue.

Seriously, though, the circumstances don't have to be exactly the same but I find if I connect to the story, and many elements of it were "mine" at some point, it somehow makes the movie so much more than a visual entertainment experience.
Katherine Heigl was amazing...at times I could've sworn it was me in real life, not her in a movie. LOL
Anyways, loved it.

"Saving the world...one dog at a time."

Our short-lived adventure with "Beethoven" reminded me of a couple of things today. First, how much I adore and appreciate the unexpected moments that bring laughter into the days. Chane and I were driving back into town from my Dads' this afternoon when we saw something traveling down the middle of the road in front of us...

We thought it was too big to be a dog and all I could think/say was "Llama." Luckily, it WAS just a dog, but a HUGE one. I pulled over to look at his tags and there was only a # to a vet (which was closed). Chane insisted he'd find his way home, so we got back into the car to leave. This dog was literally SO big that as he sat outside my drivers' side door, he stared directly into the window. It was clear he had no intention of leaving, or letting us.

What ensued was a forty five min. wait on Railroad Rd. for animal control. The time passed there was (undoubtedly) full of laughter and random-dog bonding.

The post-bonding drive included a call from the Grandma, and when she asked what we had been doing all day, Chane responded, "Saving the world...one dog at a time."

I'm sure he's happy to be fed/watered and warm this evening and we have yet another funny memory...

Where I want to be today...

So, for whatever reason, the outdoors are calling my name today. I think this weekend is warranting a short trip...somewhere like this picture.

It may just be my new kicks that have maps on the bottom of the soles, which were engineeered by Jeep® (LOL), seriously...

BUT regardless, an adventure surely awaits.

The real question may be, can the flames still take me there? I recently saw that commercial that says, "When you turn your car on...does it do the same for you?" I seriously laughed out loud.

The last mountainous adventure the flames took was with Seil and all three girls and I'm surprised we're still alive...or at least made it back into civilization. We attempted Snowy Range pass - POST the seasonal closure - and when we couldn't make it, ended up winding out of the mountains on tiny dirt "passages" ... not really dirt. More like enormous puddles of mud, snow packed fields and rocky trails here and there.

This is the kind of adventure I speak of...something with vast openness, unexpected junctures and lots of laughter.

*pauses to sigh and just live*

This is where I feel we are at...
A happy "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" (in a *sigh* sort of way) stage.
My life is falling into place.
These have been my changes:

I have stability in the form of a career:
A truely "God-given" job has landed in my lap. It's a company full of people I love with an attitude/outlook just like my own. It's a faith-based company with awesome ideals and trust in their employees. They are flexible, comfortable and real. What a blessing.

I have the time and re-kindled enthusiasm to continually strive to be an excellent mother:
With financial stresses at bay (for possibly the first time ever) and regular hours I find myself settling into small, but significant, routines with K. The day-to-day sameness initially made me squirm but I'm finding peace and fulfillment in consonance...and that this leads to better parenting.

I have re-embraced my faith and found a balance within it. This is a part of me that I desperately missed without really realizing it. A new church plant here (it's called the Element) has been part of that fill. Outreach and selflessness are again bringing restoration to my soul.

I have re-attained past and developed new avidity for my passions, partially as a result of all of the above.

It's exciting in a new way...excitement oddly derived from tranquility.

Animated Much?

It's been awhile. And definitely NOT for a lack of material, but rather life being ridiculously busy. Easter weekend is approaching and the little princess is loving the fancy dresses, gloves, headbands, etc. She would have dressed in an Easter dress and accompanying fancy ornamentations every day for the last two weeks if we lived somewhere warmer.
I suppose my current lesson along the "journey" is that of sacrifice. I've been trying to find a job within my field and it seems that it's not conducive to "singleparentdom" to be a journalist. Especially a photojournalist. SO, it's come to finding a Mon-Fri PR position and writing press releases all day to bring in the money and still be able to see my daughter on nights and weekends. Nothing means more to me than being a good Mom, and I would never sacrifice the time I have left to be her Mommy. But, I must digress it's somewhat disappointing to have my dreams of "big shot photojournalist" shot down a month prior to graduating.
With prayer and a newfound immediacy to find something, I hope that in a few short months the blogs on here will reflect an exciting new career AS WELL AS a love for parenting.