In the last two weeks I've been to Dallas and Boston. That being said, we need to take a time out and talk about the amazingness that Boston is. I think it may need to be my next stop (when K graduates). I loved everything about it... the cobblestone streets, the North End, the harbor, the people (yes, the people). It was the first time I went somewhere and had it not been for K, I might not have come back.
In fact, I am really struggling with this idea of destination. I volley daily- Drowning in my desire to up and go and create a new adventure somewhere else, then appreciating the realization of what Cheyenne holds for me, for us, until K is done with school- family, stability, her siblings, and so on.
I wonder why it seems so easy for everyone else to live their 8-5, to go home and be CONTENT. Here we go again... that word always seems to pop up on this blog. Alas, contentment in many areas still escapes me.
I see so many options, so many avenues that my life could take and THE ONLY THING THAT BRINGS ME DOWN IS THE FACT THAT I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH THEM ALL OR LIVE THEM ALL OUT.
All this takes me to the fact that I have CHOSEN to move. Yes, this time it is not pressured by anything. Sounds crazy after all we've been through, I know, but I think I chose "home" wrong. Historic homes- charming as they might be- are not fun to live in. Goodbye waterfall basement, goodbye 'ghosts', goodbye freezing cold winters and suffocating summers.
Hello low-maintenance, well-insulated, attached-garage and dishwasher living.
I also realize that perhaps, in a small way, this move is a release of my need for a new destination. It is me "sealing the deal" on staying put for at least 4.75 years. ;)
My hope is that it serves as K's "home" in her memory... I don't want to deprive her of that just because I have no real ties to the issue. I want her to have a place she is proud of. A place she can remember four straight Christmases in, four summers, years worth of laughter and lightheartedness.
Here's to our longest term home...
